Normally, I write this blog to share my thoughts and pass along wisdom that I have gleaned, usually through my own efforts at living life. I try not to make it about me, though. I want it to be about you, and how you can enhance your experience as you dance through your own life.
However, this time I want to share something personal with you. I need to tell you about my mom. You see, over the past few weeks, my sister and I have had to accept the fact that Mom needs to be in a memory care facility. Even those words give me the heebie-jeebies. But the fact is, Mom’s memory is not just faulty, it is completely non-existent. She needs twenty-four hour care and supervision. But that’s not the worst part. The worst part–to me–is that she has forgotten her story.
This was brought home to me over the past few weeks as, with each new caregiver, my sister or I have had to explain that Mom doesn’t answer to her legal name. She never has. She has always gone by a deriviative of her middle name. But no one who first meets her knows this, and she can no longer tell them. My sister and I are the only ones remaining who know why and how her nickname came to be. She does not know. She has forgotten that part of her story.
As we’ve cleaned out her assisted-living apartment, we’ve run across scrap books and many, many photographs. One scrapbook held bridal shower and wedding congratulations cards from people who are long dead and who no one in my family remembers. I found a copy of a playbill from a high school production she appeared in. I had no idea she had ever done anything on a stage — even a small school stage in Banks,Oregon. I found a journal from the early 1970’s where she is complaining about how disgusted she is with the people of her generation, how she feels they are small-minded and judgmental. Who knew? I certainly didn’t know she felt that way. And, if I hadn’t found that old journal, I would never have known, because she has forgotten that part of her story.
So, what do I want to say to you? I encourage you to live your story, fully and completely, while you can still remember it! Every day is a new chapter to the long story of you. Your likes, your dislikes, the things that make you tingle or become numb, the thoughts that let you soar or pull you down. Live it. Embrace it. Expand it. To steal a phrase from Nike, just do it.
Now, I know you’ve heard people say that they don’t want to get stuck in their story. The story most people are referring to is their “victim” story. That could be the story of their broken relationship, their current or past illness, their ignoble start in life, or plain bad luck that has occurred. And it’s true, you don’t want to get stuck in the negative, because that is not your whole story. It’s only a minor part. It’s not who you truly are.
No, who you truly are is a vast, rich landscape of experiences, each one ripe with meaning and blessed with character. Each experience is a thread in your personal tapestry, and each person is an integral, important part of the tapestry of Divine. See, I knew I could get it back to you and your Divine connection! Because your story is important. It’s as important as anyone else’s.
Does this mean you get to bore everyone with every tiny detail of your life? Facebook and Twitter aside, that would be a big “NO!” What is does mean is that you get to share what is important to you so that your story can be known.
How do you do that? Well, you can keep a journal if you are so inclined. One day your daughter may read your words and say, “I never knew that,” as I did when I read the small bit that my mother wrote. You could leave voice or video recordings, although that is hard to do when you are busy living your life.
My suggestion for living your story is to make sure you focus on what is important to you, and share that with others. I’m not suggesting quasi-interesting things like the time you almost shared a cab with Dustin Hoffman when you were visiting New York City. I’m more inclined to have you share your story by being honest about who you are and what is important to you. If you love to garden, do it with enthusiasm and share that joy with whoever might be interested. It’s part of the story of you.
If you’ve had a life-changing experience and feel you have something to offer someone going through a similar experience, share that with them if they seem receptive. It’s part of the story of you.
If you are happy when everyone else is sad or sad when everyone is telling you that you should be happy, just feel what you feel and tell everyone else to leave you to it. Your feelings are part of the story of you.
If you have a different relationship to Divine than those around you, please accept and embrace that relationship. It’s part of the story of you.
If you have a particular quirk that others find odd, unless it’s illegal, immoral, or just plain icky, accept and rejoice in your own uniqueness. We are all a reflection of Divine, quirks and all. We are all part of Divine’s story. Yes, you, me, and your annoying co-worker are all part of the stories of Divine. Yours is unique to you, as mine is to me.
As for my mother, she answers to the name Jean, because when she was little, they were going to call her Gennie from her middle name Genevieve, but either she or her younger sister (see, even I have forgotten part of her story!) couldn’t pronounce Gennie. It was pronounced Jeannie, and it stuck.
So Jean she is, even if she can’t remember.
Please live your story, your Divine story, to the fullest. Revel in it. Be grateful for it. And share it with those who wish to remember.
In joy and love,
Barbara